Couples Counselling
My Approach
At the beginning of a relationship, we accept our partners as they are. But somewhere along the way, small disagreements begin to create emotional distance, and that distance continues to grow. Sadly, the harder we try to make it better, the worse it seems to get.
The problem is usually not a lack of caring. You will have noticed a repeated pattern in your arguments. I hope to support you in gaining clarity on what that pattern is, and then identifying what you and your partner can do to stop that pattern from driving you apart.
If you and your partner come from different cultural backgrounds, cultural sensitivity can be crucial. Collectivist and individualist cultures have different orientations towards self and other, and often completely opposite ways of expressing love and caring. Having lived experience in both East Asian and North American culture, I can help recover the parts that are likely getting lost in translation.
What a Session with Me is Like
We will begin with a comprehensive intake assessment, comprised of one joint session, and an individual session with each partner. I may ask you and your partner to fill out some questionnaires. In the fourth joint session, we will come together and discuss our findings and agree on a goal to work towards.
Each session will begin with a brief check-in. I will then summarize our previous work and offer suggestions on an agenda for today’s sessions. Here are some things you can expect in a session:
Exploring each partner’s experience of a recent argument
Sharing research on relationships, usually drawn from the extensive work of the Gottmans
Piecing together the progression of each argument
Practicing specific communication skills
Reflecting on what we appreciate about our partners but often forget